| How fear keeps you from actualizing your life |
 For Erine, 19, there’s nothing scarier than the chance that her husband may suffer a relapse into drug addiction. They married four years ago, when she became pregnant at 15. Two years of anguish, pain, and strife to rescue her husband from drugs. As of this writing, Dan has been drug-free for two years; however, Erine chooses not to follow her dream of finishing school, because she fears that without her constant attention, Dan may get into drugs again. Erine is controlled by fear. María is a domestic abuse survivor. Her husband forced her to have sexual intercourse with her whenever he chose. I still recall vividly when she came to see me for the first time. She looked like a newborn bird, shaking in terror. María was controlled by fear. Carlos, 43, has experienced a very turbulent period in the last few months. He almost died after an armed robbery, and he was fired from two jobs for no apparent reason. His employers told him that he was hit by the economic downturn. His life is currently at a standstill; he feels useless and incapable of finding work. He is controlled by fear. Fear. José Antonio Marina describes it as an alteration in mood because of a real or imagined threat. Sometimes, people will also use fear as a shield against pain and suffering. In many cases, fear is a wake-up call, a sign to change your life. A professional or a coach can help you get started and implement the necessary changes. To conquer your fear: • Realize that your fear is not innate. Michael Cook, from the University of Wisconsin, put together a startling demonstration. Monkeys that had never been conditioned to be afraid of snakes learned very quickly to fear them. They only needed to see another monkey be afraid of them, and the behavior is quickly assimilated. • Work on your confidence with the help of a professional. • Keep a log of your daily progress. • Work out one fear at a time. • Practice paradoxical intent, a technique based on Logotherapy, founded by Viennese psychiatrist Viktor Frankl. According to this technique, the best advice on phobias and fears is to not avoid, nor be paralyzed by the object of fear, but rather to wish that it would happen, so the person may learn to approach her fears with a sense of humor. Would you like to know more? Visit www.logoterapia.com.mx (in Spanish). 
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