| Six traits of a lasting marriage |
 No spouse is an islandFrom the moment you and I were born, we have constantly depended on others in order to learn, grow, and succeed. Indeed, no one can reach true success without the help of others. Similarly, marriage is always a two-person job. As a marriage and family coach, I’ve had the chance to work with many couples and help them in their relationship. Some people come to work through a crisis; some others, to learn better ways to communicate. In my experience with them, I’ve identified six traits shared by all successful marriages. The six traits 1. They foster good communication. This means the ability to listen to the partner in a deep level, taking turns so each one can voice his or her beliefs, opinions, and feelings, in order to know each other thoroughly. 2. They hold no mutual resentments. Dale Carnegie’s line is perfect to illustrate this trait: “Character and self-control are necessary to understand and forget.” 3. They are resilient. In other words, they are able to withstand life’s challenges and recover from crises and permanent difficulties. Froma Walsh, founder of the Center for Family Health in Chicago, has researched this in depth. 4. They take the time to know themselves, either by studying human development, or by attending workshops with their partner, or generally by learning about themselves every day. 5. They cook together at least once a month. “The way to a person’s heart goes through the stomach,” my mother used to say. 6. They’ve learned to reconcile work and family. This is a goal for both men and women; knowing this helps marriages remain stable. Suggested reading: Masters of Our Destiny, by Nuria Chinchilla. Amor y vida conyugal, by Andreas Laun By Love Refined: Letters to a Young Bride, by Alice Von Hildebrand. La camisa del casado feliz, by Gerardo Castillo. |