| Romance, rise forth! |
 Even though random acts of romance aren’t the foundation of marriage, they are the gunpowder that keeps the relationship shooting sparks. Romance shows affection and gives comfort; it says, “We may have problems to work through, but I love you and we’ll get through them.” It also says, “I love you and want you to be happy.” Romantic love finds pleasure in making the spouse feel special and valued.Sadly, the word is virtually absent from the lexicon of many couples and marriages. But, how do romantic couples get to that point? The answer lies in the peculiarities of each gender. For the male psyche, after winning a woman’s heart, there is no longer any need to keep repeating words like, “I love you,” “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” or “Here are these flowers, just because.” When a man declares his love, he often assumes that the chosen woman knows he loves her, has internalized the knowledge, and is safe in his love. Women tend not to share this perspective, so naturally differences arise. What do women want? We, on the other hand, like to be frequently reminded that we are valued, loved, and needed. Yes, let me repeat: Women like to feel needed. When this feeling fades, it is replaced by complaints, discontents, and problems in communication. When women no longer feel needed, we feel that our spouse’s desire to make us feel special has vanished. This is not necessarily true. In reality this most often doesn’t mean that the love is gone; rather, it may point to a stifling routine in couple life, or the arrival of children, or arguments without mutual respect, or the loss of direction in the relationship, among other factors. Rekindle romance! As my grandmother used to say, “If you know he’s the man of your dreams, rekindle romance!” Don’t be ashamed to be romantic; after all, he’s already yours. • Be creative and surprise each other with those tender details you showed each other when your relationship was taking off. • Communicate. Find the possible reasons why the romance has waned. Finally, determine concrete steps to ignite once again that very important part of life as a couple. • Follow through and fan the flames of romance. Keep an intelligent view of your situation; find points of union in your shared life. Those who want to keep romance alive do not wallow in their own mistakes; they identify them and learn. They do not think, “If you don’t care, I don’t either;” on the contrary, they think of what’s good for their relationship and how to reclaim happiness together. First, I walk in your shoes until I understand where you’re at and how you’re feeling; then I hold you, I welcome you, and… romance is back! 
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